“every woman has a mother”
Violeta Tellez
Interviewed on September 23rd, 2022
by Anabella Lenzu
Anabella: How do you deal with all of these things together? Being an immigrant, trying to make your career as a dancer and choreographer, and being a mom?
Violeta: Well, it is hard. I thought that having a kid would stop my artistic growth or activity. When my son was born, I couldn't really train. So that was a big one. I thought, like, what am I going to do now? But little by little, it has kept on. I went to class every time I could, which led me to connect with other people who had some kind of show going on or something. So I got work through there and kept connected. When the pandemic hit and we were stuck at home, I started listening to my son’s classes and he had this writing workshop class. They tell every kid, “Welcome writers to our workshop!” I never had those kinds of classes in Mexico. Writing for me mostly was to learn how to write a word or write your name, but not in such a creative way. I liked his online classes a lot, and the classes were mostly for me because he didn't like it. So I helped him with that, then I started writing on my own, and that's how I started to create my own dance based on what I wrote. The first thing I did in that way was, “Here Hear”. It's about how undocumented immigrants were left out. If there’s no work, then there's no money.
Anabella: Out of the system! Violeta, when did you come to the United States?
Violeta: I came here in 2008. I started my journey in New York with the Martha Graham School. When I arrived here, I started to learn several other dance techniques. So I started doing other things. In Mexico, all I did was Graham. Here I got to see all the other techniques that I hadn't ever experienced because it's not easy to get other classes over there.
Anabella: How was the adaptation to a new language, because it's like three different things you had to adapt to: your artistic life, a new language, and you as a mother inserted into a new community. When I came to the United States in 2008, if you didn't know how to write an artist statement or a grant, you cannot reach foundations to support your work. So connecting what you're saying about writing, now, things are changing a little bit. You can send a video describing your art. There is the idea of when you are an immigrant, you need to “assimilate into the culture” to “feed the culture,” can you talk a little bit about that?
Violeta: For me, I felt at home here. So for the language, my mom spoke to my brother and me in English when we were born. It was like her experiment, She studied to be an English teacher. She was in a bilingual school, so she just did it. Everyone said, “No, it's not going to work,” and I didn't speak it until I was around 3 years old, but not because of that. It's just how I am. I'm quiet. I didn't speak English. I knew it, she always wanted me to speak to her in English and I'm like, no, no, no. Then when I came here, it just came naturally.
Anabella: How is being a mom in another culture? I can relate to this and some of the other choreographers I’ve interviewed certainly do too. We talk about things we try to pass down to our children from our culture: the language, or the love of Mexico for example. How do you do this?
Violeta: Well, it’s hard. Somebody asked him where he was from, and, he said, from Brooklyn and they're like, well, but where are your roots from? Are your parents from Mexico? And he said, “Oh, yeah, they're from Mexico, but I'm from here.” We haven't traveled, that is something that I really miss. I would love to go there and show him everything. Listening to stories is not the same as being there.
Anabella: How does your son see you as a dancer/choreographer?
Violeta: I don't exactly know how to answer that. I think he likes it, but he just wants to see it and not be more involved. I have brought him to rehearsals and shows. When I performed “Here, Hear” once at Washington Square Park, it was this big celebration. He was just there, sitting down. I had no one to leave him with, so he had to come with me. I liked it a lot –– just to see him there. He was just looking at me and there were a bunch of cameras from media people, but I never saw anything, so I don't know what happened to that.
Anabella: Good, and how do you feel in the New York City community? How do you feel here? Like you've been integrated, so is it easier? I remember the first years, I didn't understand. I wanted to present my work, but networking as an immigrant –– you integrate into the New York community, the dance community.
Violeta: I felt very good here. I could go into the community even better than in Mexico. I don't know why. In Mexico, it was so hard for me, I don't know why. For me, there was like Mafia going on and you had to be friends or know somebody to get in. If you were not part of their group, they would just not let you in.
Anabella: You're saying that in Mexico you didn't feel that you belong, but here you feel that you belong?
Violeta: Yeah, as soon as I got here, I thought, “Oh, I can do this, I can do that.” Everyone is like, yeah, of course, you can. That's a feeling I didn't have over there, especially in dance.
Anabella: Because of the diversity, the open-mindedness. Here, everyone is from a different place.
Violeta: Yes, and over there, I couldn't even get a job, I did have a teaching job, but it was not enough to make a living. I am from Mexico City. When I was 18, I tried to get into the dance school, the big dance school in Mexico City, but they said no, I was too fat. They said, “No, you cannot come here to lose weight.” I just wanted to dance. I found a teacher and stuck with him for about 6 years but it was just a dance class, it was not an official school. I wanted to get some kind of recognized dance studies. I found a school away from the City that would accept me as I was also older, so when I started dance teacher school, I was already 24. I couldn't get into any other school at that age and I moved to Querétaro.
Anabella: Exactly. Well, in many of our countries, it's a very rigid system and very closed-minded. They teach dance like it’s 1930. Even if we are now in 2022, they still do it. So, the progress is not just technical about resources, but also about the mentality of the people.
Violeta: Starting with that, it felt like, you don't belong to the dance people.
Anabella: How would you define what makes a good mother?
Violeta: It has to do with what you think is right, but also taking into consideration what your kid wants, likes, and needs. You cannot say, “This is what you have to do, because I think it is right,” so there is that aspect. You have to see what they want, and what they like, and then try to combine them to get to this point. It has to include what you think is good for them, but also what they want to do, so combine both. For example, I like to dance, but I'm not going to tell him you have to do it too. You can if you want to, but you don't have to.
Anabella: It’s about freedom and choice that you feel in the United States, no? Perhaps in Mexico, you don't feel that you have choices. I always feel that every time I was in Argentina, I felt like I was in a hole that I couldn't get out of and I didn't have choices. It’s only this choice or nothing. Here, for you, it's in a line where –– you were telling me about your formation as a dancer –– with your kid to give them the freedom to choose to be what they want to be. What else makes a good mother? I know it’s a tough question, but I ask everyone to read everybody's answer, and it's very interesting, so diverse.
Violeta: I also think that's why I didn't want to be a mom because I thought I would be a very bad mom. It's a big responsibility. Before, my idea was not to have kids. I thought I'm not going to have any, but then it changed. At first, I couldn’t support myself, so I can not have any kids. No way, it's not going to happen, because then you put them in a situation that is not good. How you behave with them is different if you have the capacity and freedom to decide –– I want to get this and I get it, because I need it, or because I just want to. When I met my husband, I realized it was not only up to me, but together we could do it. I needed two people to do it. I needed somebody to say we did this together, and that's why you are here and we are going to grow together. Having my husband is why I said: let’s do this…I don't think I answered your question.
Anabella: Well, you, you told me a little indirectly what is to be a good mother…it’s about being responsible and being aware that your decisions affect the kids. It’s a big responsibility, to guide others in life, to nurture others, but we do it with love. It’s not easy for immigrants or non-immigrants.
Violeta: For everybody, just to be a mom. That was an idea I was thinking about –– how every woman can be a mother or some of them cannot be, but every woman has a mother. So that is powerful.
Anabella: How do you feel about all of the responsibilities of having an American kid? I feel it has to do with all of the dialogues I need to have with my children about politics, abortion, guns, and what it is to be an American citizen. I got my citizenship in 2018, so not too long ago, but I have two American kids. What is their responsibility even if I’m an immigrant? Tell me more about that, because it's different.
Violeta: In the beginning, I thought, wow! This kid is going to be an American. In a way, that is like a present because so many people want to be here and get that. The only thing he did was be born here and now he has it. That has a lot of power in a way, so I have to help him know what he has. That is very important for them to know that not every kid can have this. The other day we went to the museum, and when we came back, his dad asked, “What did you see?” We went to the Met and he answered, “Just regular stuff.” We were like, what are you saying? And tried to make him realize not everybody can go to the Met, but he’s so familiar with that because we have gone since he was a baby. So make them aware of what they have just for being born here. Choices: Kids in Mexico usually have no choices. It's like you're going to do this, and then that's it. You're going to wear this, etc. So they have to be aware of that because that happens. With many American people, I feel they don't know what the rest of the world has to go through.
Anabella: Regarding responsibilities, we were talking about guns in February this year. My son goes to a public school in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and they put a metal detector in the school because they were finding so many guns inside the schools. You would think that this is Williamsburg, Brooklyn, which is a very nice neighborhood, so I felt like, “Oh my God.” I thought, internally, it would be much better to be born in Argentina. My daughter asked me the other day, “Mama, so did you do these lockdown drills to lock yourself in your classroom growing up?” I told her, “No, we don’t have people that come in with guns and do mass shootings.”
I’m thinking about the good aspects –– the choices and the resources in this country –– but I am also thinking about the violence they are exposed to. The things that they see, especially living in New York City, are not the things that you see in Argentina. How do you deal with these two issues? Violence in Mexico is so different from violence in America. How do we deal as mothers with creating these new American citizens to live in this environment?
Violeta: Well, Mexico is violent too, but different. When I came here, that was one of the things I liked and I decided I didn't want to live over there. I came back late at night and I realized I was no longer looking over my shoulder. While in Mexico, I could not stop, every time I was walking by myself, I was just looking around all over. I always had my bag, grabbing it. I did get mugged over there –– once on the train and then once in a taxi, in Mexico. It was kind of scary to go out late and alone. When I came here, that feeling disappeared. I just caught myself walking, and I realized I really like this. I can walk back at 1:00 AM from the train to my home without worrying. I know about all the guns and crazy things that happened here. It is very scary, I wish kids didn’t have lockdown drills but at least they will be prepared and hopefully never have to go through a real situation. Also, in Mexico, it happens that people disappear. You just don't know what happens to them. Once, a friend of his was going to go to Mexico and his dad asked me, so what should we do there? I started to remember something that had completely gone out of my mind –– I remembered that, once, when I was coming back from school, I was in college, and it was around 9:00 PM. I was going back, walking on a lonely, dark street, and I saw this car behind me. I kept on walking. He kept on following me, really close. Then I crossed the street and he kept on going. I made a turn where he couldn't turn and I found a phone to call my brother. There were no cell phones then and he was home, so I told him, I think someone is following me. There was a hotel right across the street. As I was talking to him, I see this car coming back really fast. I'm like, oh no, he's here. Over the phone, my brother started saying, “Just go, go into the hotel, and we'll come to get you.” So I ran into the hotel and the car disappeared. Thinking about it now, that is how people disappear. If that guy had caught me, or if I had walked one more block in the dark, I might not have arrived home and nobody would have known what happened to me.
Anabella: How would you define what is to be a “good artist”?
Violeta: To keep on working, and not ever giving up. Even if you think that's it for you. When I'm going to go to class or something and I feel that I shouldn't, I'm going to be like the oldest person there, I'm not going to be able to do anything, but then I go and it's fine. So just keep on going. I think that will make you a good artist.
Anabella: We go through this journey of being a good artist and being a good mother. How do you deal with this on a daily basis in New York City for all of these years? Your son is 8 years old. I've interviewed new moms with newborns, who tell me they only have alone time when they’re in the shower or in the bathroom. How do you do it? For me, it’s encouragement from other artists. I remember some of my dance teachers used to tell me, “You’re either a mother or an artist, you can’t do both.” I would cry, saying I wanted to do both, but they’d say, “Well, that’s not devotion to your art”. How is your life dealing with these two things, with responsibilities and joy and safety?
Violeta: No, that is completely true. When I became a mother, I thought, this is it. I won't be able to dance anymore. But, it's not true, fortunately. Also, having him has helped me to keep on going. When I have a rehearsal or something I have to do, he says, “No, why do you have to go?” Because I love to dance and because of dance, you are here. Because of dance, we are here, so I have to keep dancing.
Anabella: That's beautiful.
Violeta: If it were not for dance, I would not have moved to New York. I would not have met my husband, and my son would not be here.
Anabella: I love it –– how you explained that. I think we really went full circle with the interview. We started with the first question and then we learned more about your life, joy, and dedication to your family and dance. Thank you so much, Violeta. It's a pleasure to meet you online. Hopefully, we can meet in person sometime!
Violeta: Thank you so much!
Violeta Tellez is from Mexico City where she started dance training in 1998. She was a dancer for Danza Contemporánea Universitaria UNAM in CDMX in 2002 and participated in the International Dance Festival in Quito Ecuador in 2006. She became a Graham dance teacher in 2007. She moved to NYC in 2008, she was part of the scholarship program at Jennifer Muller The Works until 2014. She has worked on projects with Eva Perota (2009), Mario Bermudez Gil (2011), and Carmen Caceres (2012). Since 2009 she has been part of Sleepdance directed by Stephanie Sleeper. She was invited to participate with Rina Espiritu in works presented at Judson Church and Kraine Theater. She has been a dancer with Dance To The People directed by Maira Duarte, participating in Tampon project, Trash Women and Apocalitzin. In 2019, she appears in Slowdown, a short film by Liz Sargent, as a background actress. Among Violeta’s works are Tiny Noises, Move On, and La Santa. In 2021 she created Here-Hear, a dance performance for the Excluded Workers hunger strikers, performed at Judson Church and Washington Square Park. Her most recent work is Viva (a project made possible by the City Artist Grant Corps) with music composed by Stephanie Sanders. She was a Parent Artist Space Grantee for Fall 2022 at BAX. She is a mother of an 8-year-old boy.
Anabella Lenzu: Originally from Argentina, Anabella Lenzu is a dancer, choreographer, scholar & educator with over 30 years of experience working in Argentina, Chile, Italy, and the USA. Lenzu directs her own company, Anabella Lenzu/DanceDrama (ALDD), which since 2006 has presented 400 performances, created 15 choreographic works, and performed at 100 venues, presenting thought-provoking and historically conscious dance-theater in NYC. As a choreographer, she has been commissioned all over the world for opera, TV programs, theatre productions, and by many dance companies. She has produced and directed several award-winning short dance films and screened her work in over 200 festivals both nationally and internationally.